Wondering

So, yesterday sucked. You called me yesterday morning, told me thank you for the night before, and to tell me that you slept like a baby. We talked about a lot of little things, like marriage and all that. You told me that I would be a lot of fun to be married to, BUT because I have an ex, you won't. I don't get you. You said you just don't want to deal with my ex at all. I told you that I would be the one to deal with him, not you. But you said that you would end up hearing about it anyway. I told you that if you really cared about someone then it shouldn't matter, but you said it did. Well, that fantasy is now out the window. I give up on that. If you can be selfish enough to not care about what I will have in my life, like the father of my children, I don't want you. We talked about a couple other things as well, but that is what hit home to me the most. I tried to talk to you several times yesterday, and as always, you just ignored me. Then you called me when you were on your way home. You went out on a date. I was jealous, only because my date stood me up. He got stuck on a job and couldn't get away, or so he said. I think he was lying, but whatever. I wanted to go out, I wanted to see someone, someone who would help me think about something other than you and whatever else is going on in my life. You got to go out and enjoy your time with someone else. I asked you when you were going to take me out, and you said you don't know, that you were the one that got taken out last night, so when was I going to take you out. I told you that it doesn't work that way with me, you have to take me out. I like feeling sought after. Everything is falling through, my date last night and things with you. I don't know where things will end up, but I want to feel desired again. You have dropped the ball on that, so it is up to someone else. I just hope I can meet that someone else before I completely lose my sex drive.