Frustration...as per title.

I don't know why I let this happen. Yesterday was my 3 year anniversary, and it wasn't a happy day. I wrote you a letter and I realized as I was writing it, that I don't think that I was ever in love with you in the first place. I shouldn't have married you. You deserved better and yet we both settled. You deserve someone who will love you no matter what, I realized that my love for you was very much conditional. You deserve someone who will love you for you and someone who can love you as much as you deserve to be loved. This is not what I had envisioned. This is not how I thought our marriage would turn out, but it has. I cannot wait until I can be out on my own. I cannot wait until I move on, find someone else. I really can't. And then there is you, Mr. D. How have I let my guard down again for you to hurt me? I crashed at your place last night, no funny business. It was only for a few hours, from about 3:30 to 6:30, and we talked the better part of an hour of that. I fell asleep in the recliner, listening to you work. When I woke up this morning you weren't there. You left me in your house in the early morning, and you couldn't even wake me up to tell me you were leaving. I know that you were going to see her, at least I am pretty sure that you were. Why else would you be up and out of the house at 6am? She has to be to work at 7am. But I have called you twice and you have not called me back. You don't care about me the way that I think you do. I am going to block your number and do my best to forget about you. I can't believe I let myself think that you were that special. I know that you love her, but there are other people in your life that are worried about you. You have to think of that. I know that you want to be friends with her, but are you going to ignore me? You will, and I hope that when I leave I am just a blip in your memory. You will forget about me, I just hope that I am lucky enough to forget about you.