Finally starting to move ahead.

I haven't heard from you in 2 days. I talked to you for a little bit on Friday. You told me that you were just busy, always busy. That you had a lot going on with being called out to places and classes and whatnot. I told you that it felt that now that you were not all depressed about Your Love you didn't need me as much anymore. You kinda agreed with me. You told me that the whole reason you got divorced was because you were always busy. You keep telling me that you want to get married again. Do you really think that any self-respecting woman is going to allow you to not be there in the marriage? And what if there are kids involved, theirs or yours with them? I wish you luck but it will end up the same way. You will not be there, they will get fed up with you and you and them will split. It will happen. I wish you lots of luck, because you will need it. I wish you would be there for me, but you are not. You are just like every other guy that is out there. I found out this weekend that my husband has been having thoughts of suicide. I am terrified about leaving my kids with him while I am away at training. I am scared for them and worried about him. I wanted to call you. I wanted to vent to you, but I resisted the temptation and left you alone. Not calling you, not texting you, not hearing your voice is really hard for me to do. Harder that I ever thought it would be. But I know it is best for me.
I tried to get a booty call this weekend. Thinking that having useless sex would help me not to think about you. The guy fell through on me. And the girl got cold feet. I just want to not think about you. At all. I have no mistakes in my life, no regrets, but at the same time, part of me wishes that I never texted you, that I had just left my flirting to the classroom and never any more than that. You were so much fun, and it was a lot of fun at first, until it got more serious. The sad thing is that it only got more serious for me, not for you. I miss how it used to be, but that just means that you are over me and and that I need to get over you.
I am talking to this guy at my favorite coffee shop. We have been flirting for a few weeks now. He has been really sweet and I love it when he smiles at me. Maybe he will be the guy to help me move on from you and my husband. I don't know what will happen. I know that I miss you terribly, but I will slowly get over you in time. Time heals all wounds; small, deep and self-inflicted. This is a small, self-inflicted wound that before I even know it will heal and be a distant memory. But like everything else in my life, I am just impatient. I want that time to come now.